Monday Musings: The Wonder of Flowers

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha

I thought I would share photos I presented last weekend as a way of marking my "graduation" from the Future Thinking program.

I didn't start to take flower pictures until a year ago. I didn't have any training. I didn't have a fancy camera. (I use a Canon Powershot SD800).

But I was in the Future Thinking program, and part of my learning was around my what my "core essence" was.

My teacher, Jan Smith, calls your core "your unique, fundamental connection to life."

My core is my authentic self, my beautiful spirit and the "me" that emerges from a deeply connected place of love, trust and connection.

Through Future Thinking, I began to identify the signs of being in my core — and the places in my life where I could easily access it.

Flowers were one of those places.

As I began to study flowers and then taking flower photos, I found I could easily drop into into that sweet space of my core...at peace, expansive, connected to spirit, moved by beauty and in profound wonder.

Taking flower pictures became a way for me to connect to my innermost sense of self and what is unique about how I see and experience the world.

The act of noticing the flowers through pictures became an almost spiritual act. A way to connect to the sacred mystery of life, to wonder and to the force that creates all.

I found that while I loved the color and smells of flowers, what really drew me in were the close-up shots — those pictures that captured what I call the "sacred center" of the flower.

I love how unique, precious, beautiful and powerful each flower is.

It almost takes my breath away to look at some of these pictures.

And it's a reminder for me to be in wonder about not only flowers, but every person I meet.

I'm curious what do you see in these flowers...I'd love to hear!

P.S. You can click on the video above to access a full screen version — my preferred way of viewing these photos.

P. P.S. I also started a photo gallery of my favorite flower photos. I've used these slides as a start and will be adding to it over time. You can click on any thumbnail photo to go to a big screen, slideshow view. Go here to view.

Flowering Fridays: On Wonder

My "surprise in the flower," our meadow, September 2009

I am in Atlanta this weekend, marking the completion of the Future Thinking course I have participated in for the last two and half years.

Our focus for this quarter has been around fear: how to notice it in your thoughts and behaviors, how to be with it and how to move into life from fear into a place of wonder and trust.

What I am learning from the conversation with Jan Smith, my teacher, and the community is this:

To move beyond (or perhaps more accurately, to notice your fear and move into life anyway) it is necessary to have curiosity and wonder...so we can access our creativity, our connectedness and our centeredness no matter what is going on around us.

My catch-phrase for accessing this wonder has been to "look for the surprise in the flower."

One of the things I love the most about taking flower pictures has been the surprises that unfold through the practice of noticing and capturing.

For me, sometimes the surprise is in going out to find something in bloom that I didn't know was blooming.

Sometimes it's the surprise of watching a bumblee gather pollen or (as in the case above) the discovery of how much Japanese beetles love to hang out on Queen Anne's Lace.

Or sometimes the surprise comes later when I am looking at the photos close up on the computer screen and notice the unique configuration at the center of the flower.

Taking flower pictures this last year has really helped me to connect more deeply with the feeling of wonder.

And I'm finding it's grounding me as I move into some new spaces in my life that can bring up fear for me — as we move out of our house and into something new (yes, it sold in seven days!); as I navigate what's needed with my mom as she continues on her healing journey; as I witness my stepbrother-in-law's journey with lung cancer; as I get to know the fragile and precious nature of life more deeply through the death of a fellow seeker I met this summer.

Today, I am showing a slideshow of my flower photos to the Future Thinking community as part of an exercise in accessing wonder.

I have so very much to thank Jan and the Future Thinking community for (and my husband, Michael, too, who is here to participate in the conference and mark this moment with me).

I'm not sure how to capture all that has moved and expanded within me since entering Future Thinking. (And all that will continue to move and expand out my living what I've learned as I go forward).

Saying thank you for such a life-changing experience seems insufficient.

But I am so very grateful for the experience.

And so very grateful for the chance to access the power of wonder through learning how much I loved flowers.

Tell me, what do you notice in your life that gives you access to wonder?

************* 

Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.

Flowering Fridays: Staying Centered in the Garden of Life

Nasturium in my garden, taken last week

Last week when I typed my intention for our family trip to exploring the Carolinas:

Trusting. Enjoying the process. And knowing that on some level it's irrelevant what we decide: we'll be blooming wherever we are.

How how little did I know that I would be given the opportunity to really put this into practice.

My mom had a knee replacement last week, and over the weekend developed problems with breathing and excessive coughing. On Monday, she was transferred from her rehab facility to a hospital.

And since Monday night, she's been in ICU on a ventilator as we've waited to see if her lungs will clear up and she can again breathe on her own.(Thankfully, she is showing steady signs of improvement and her condition is listed as critical but stable.)

On Tuesday morning, we made the decision that I would fly to Cleveland to be with my mom and my family. Michael and Grace have continued on with our vacation, exploring Charleston, Pearl Fryar's magical topiary garden and for the next few days, Charlotte, SC.

It's really been amazing how wonderful this experience has been.

Yes, it's no fun seeing my mom in critical condition. I want her to heal and get back on her feet (literally and figuratively) as soon as possible.

But there have been some wonderful gifts to being here, and in many ways I'm having just as much "fun" as if I had been on vacation.

The experience I'm having is a conscious choice.

I could choose to see this from a lens of fear and crisis. (Of course, sometimes I do have moments of feeling of fear, worry, and sadness. I am human and those feeling will come up)

But I am choosing to carry my original intention into my time being here with my mom.

I've been sharing a bit (actually a lot!) with the Future Thinking Community I'm part of. One of my FT friends asked me about the practicies and structures I had in place to support me in consciously standing in the trust and unfoldment of this process with my mom.

I thought I would share a slightly edited version of my response with you, too, as I am noticing how differently I am being with this experience that I had in the past.

In the past, I would have experienced a lot of panic, a lot of disappointment and resentment at having my trip "cut short, and probably a ton of frustrated tears. (There have been tears, but they have felt deep and authentic when they come.)

But it's different this time, and I think it has a lot to do with my practices and intentions.

The main practice I have been doing is this:

• Reviewing my higher intention for being here with my mom three times a day.

I have a commitment that I took on from a James Ray seminar Michael and I attended last month, which involves reviewing some new beliefs three times a day. I have the beliefs written on a small index card that I keep in the front pocket of my planner. I also have an alarm on my phone (also linked to my computer) that alerts me three times a day to review these beliefs.

I wrote down an intention for how I want to be during my time with my mom. When the alarm goes off, I review this intention along with the other beliefs. I also take my planner with me wherever I go. Quick and easy.

Some other practices/structures that are supporting me this week:

• Using the BigThinkers community email list as a place to name, go public and reconnect with my intention

I am viewing the Future Thinking community email list as a container and practice ground for me to name (via email) and process what I'm up to. When I write on BigThinkers, it keeps how I want to be with my mom up front for me and helps to ground me in that intention. Also by going public with what I'm up to, I honor the commitments I have in a deeper way and they seem to go into my body more deeply than when I just "think about' them.

• Notice the flowers as I walk into the hospital

There are some lovely day lilies and roses in front of the hospital, and I make a conscious decision to notice them each time I walk by them. I have even stopped to look at them up close. Because I have been practicing my connection to flowers with some intention for the past year, this is an easy and quick way for me to shift into a place of deep centeredness in the gift I am and ground myself in how I want to be.

• Starting My Day with Self-Love & Honoring

First thing each day, I review the above-mentioned beliefs. I also do a couple other things in the morning:

• yoga
• listening to my trophy song (a song that reflects how I want to be and fits the mood I want to be — right now, it's Grateful from Karen Drucker).
• 5 minutes of visualization of what I want to create with my new writing project.
• create a gratitude list of things I'm grateful for

These things help to start my day centered, upbeat mood and with a feeling of gratitude. It also allows me to start my day by filling myself up. I am loving how centered and full I feel by starting my day honoring my commitment to myself. In the past, my self-care was always the first to go, and I'm learning that I can be on vacation and be with my family while my mother is in ICU and still make time to honor these commitments.

• Honoring My Commitment to My Development

I have viewed my commitment to my development as a high priority so I made the time to be on the Wednesday conference call with the Future Thinking Community and left the hospital. In the past, I might have thought I was in "too much of a crisis" or that I should be with my mother as it was "selfish" to do this for myself. But on Wednesday, I had a lot of fear coming up for me and I sort of saw the call like an alcoholic might view an AA meeting — as necessary to my development and sanity.

• Noticing My Body Cues to Check In

I have been checking in with myself several times a day to notice what I'm feeling in my body and see what's coming up for me. This practice has helped me to be more conscious of what I'm feeling and how I'm being, and several times I was able to shift into my higher intention or think of flowers or connect with the gratitude of the present moment.

• Carrying the Handouts and Inspirational Reading in my bag

I have copies of some current coursework we are focusing on in Future Thinking and a copy of The Shack with me. It has given me something uplifting and purposeful to look at when I have a moment of quiet and want to read something other than the copy of the Enquirer in the waiting room.

• Connecting in with my Soulful Values for Aliveness and Adventure by Asking Questions

In the past, I might have been really disappointed that my vacation was interrupted. And while I would love to be Michael and Grace as they enjoy their journey through South Carolina, I am finding that I can a "vacation mood" wherever I'm at. I have kept these values with me this week, and have asked myself the question several times: "how am I on vacation now?" and "where is the learning or aliveness for me in this moment?" And then take action from there.

I also made a request of Michael and Grace to share their journey with me, and they have been great about sharing the little and big details from their trip. (For example, Michael just called to share he's having sweet potato pie for dessert at a BBQ Shack in SC. Yesterday he sent me a picture of the Moon Pie store at Charleston).

It's been so great because I'm also experiencing the aliveness and adventure that I was out to have on the vacation through their sharing even though I'm not there.. And each time they share something with me during the day it's a reminder of my value for adventure and aliveness and a reminder to check in with how I'm choosing to experience those values in this moment.

I have also several times brought to my conscious the phrase: notice the flowers. It helps me to shift as I was sitting in the ICU unit to a place of marveling at the sacred journey we are all on, each with our own timing and journey of going from seed to seed again (the cycle of life) and how our sacred journeys and our sacred centers (souls) are also so very unique and precious.

Next to my mom's room, there is a man who has been taken off the ventilator and his family is holding vigil until he dies, in another room a man who is more alert has been playing his harmonica or listening to a family member play harmonica. It's all very beautiful to me, seeing all these flowers in their various stages of life.

• Mindfully Closing My Day

I have been mindful to check in with myself at the end of the day — to just do an inventory of how I did in honoring my intention for that day. I also check in with how my body was feeling. One night I did a little yoga and some deep breathing to relax. Another night I listened to a guided meditation. I keep both yoga podcasts and meditations on my iPhone so that they are always handy and I have choice for what I will work best for me in the moment.

Tell me, what centers you in your life so that you can be present to whatever is blooming in your life in the moment?

*************

Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.