Living the Questions

Petaled raunculus, April 2009

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language…At present you need to live the question. Perhaps gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. — Raine Maria Rilke

The above quote is one of my longtime favorites, and it showed up on a handout Sunday when I attended a Living and Listening Authentically seminar in Madison with Jan Smith, my teacher and coach in the Future Thinking Program I participate in.

Part of our conversation centered around getting past all the judgments we can make of others — our "shoulds," our characterizations, our assumptions — and moving to a place where we could begin to begin to be truly curious for another person and truly be in conversation.

(Jan's core principle, which I love, is that the way we listen determines the entire outcome of our lives.)

Part of the way we can get curious is by asking curious questions.

Jan shared how much our brain adores questions, for questions engage the frontal lobe — a place where our capacity for creativity, wonder and possibility reside.

By asking questions with an eye for discovering, "what you don't know that you don't know" (as I've heard Jan say on several occasions) you open up a whole new world of possibility for ourselves and our relationships.

Most of us, myself included, generally prefer the certainty of answers. We like the safety of knowing. (Even if it is a false sense of safety.)

I used to think that questions were something that stops motion and causes more of a swirl. But I'm finding that being with the questions actually invites new (and better) possibilities.

I'm discovering that when I can be with the questions — wondering about myself, my life and others — amazing things happen.

Things like Wonder. Heart-full Connection. New Opportunities. More Choices. Clarity. Next Action. What's at the Center. Healing. Grace. Compassion.

And much, much more.

It's like unfolding the petals of this raunculus, pulling apart the layers to reach a radiant center of new possibility.

I'm learning I won't stick the safety of answers anymore.

There's too much gold in living the questions.

Tell me, how you can live more fully the questions in your life?

P.S. Here's a practice I learned from Jan, have a conversation with someone for 30 minutes where all you do is ask open-ended questions. I'll bet you'll be surprised by what you discover.

To be on a quest is nothing more or less than to become an asker of questions. — Sam Keen

Flowering Fridays: Trusting the Process

Raunculus blooming, April 2009

I was going to write about knowing your type today. But then I got a different message:

Trust the process.

Three times this morning I received this (from two different conversations and from my automatic journaling with my muse/guide).

So I am going to trust that this is the message I most need to share — for myself and for everyone who will find this post.

One of the things I love about flowers is how they trust in their unfoldment.

It's something I write about it a lot on this blog.

Like a lot alot.

Like here. And here. And here. And here.

Actually, probably every Flowering Fridays post is about the universal truths that can found in a flower's blooming.

How each flower is uniquely beautiful. How each flower must trust its journey to reach full-flower. How every flower is divinely supported in its becoming. And how the journey is individual to each flower.

I have been studying biography work for almost three years under teacher Linda Bergh.

Biography is out of Rudolf Steiner's teachings that view life as a soul journey. Through charting your life in seven-year phases, meditations, and artistic work, one can discover the themes present in your life and the themes that your soul is here to learn and grow from. (Note: I'm greatly simplifying here.)

There have been myriad insights for me out of my experience with biography, but perhaps the biggest gift has been seeing there is an indeed an unfolding at work at my life.

Nothing is random.

Out of biography, I have discovered there is a higher order at work. I have found a new-found trust and friendship for my life and for all the people and experiences I have had.

Which is, for me, ultimately about trusting the process of my life.

And when I trust the process — trust that the right experiences, people, opportunities, teachings, and action will come to me at just the right moment (and not a moment sooner) — there is a beauty, poetry and magic to life.

It's where our life becomes a flowering and where the most amazing blooms can occur.

During my automatic writing this morning, I was given this message to share with you ("you can tell your blog this," is what I took down.):

You have more love and support around you than you realize — this is true for everyone.

I'll admit that this is an orientation that is new for me to fully embrace. I've spent much of my life, up until recently, doubting this.

But I am finding that this is indeed a friendly universe, and we are supported — just like the flowers — every step of the way.

Tell me, how you can trust more fully in the process of your life?

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Flowering Fridays is a weekly look at flowers through the lens of what they might teach us about flowering fully in our life. Past editions are here.

Christine Kane on Avoiding Overwhelm

Gerber daisy, taken April 2009

I'm having a six-degrees-of-Christine Kane kind of week.

I can't remember how I got connected to Christine Kane last fall, but I am so glad I did. I love her generous spirit, her practicality, and the inspiration she provides both as a songwriter and coach.

On Sunday, Christine was kind enough to respond to a Tweet I had on Mother's Day.

Then on Monday, I met a new friend through our mutual love of Christine.

And yesterday, as I took a day of rest from the overwhelm I was experiencing, I received Christine's divinely timed e-zine with an article on "Overcoming Overwhelm."

I loved the article so much I wanted to share it with you, in case you hadn't seen it. (And if you aren't on Christine's newsletter list, you really ought to. It's one of the handful of e-zines that I always read.)

I tried her timer idea last night; and it was a fun way to get me focused. And during my Weekly Review (which I think I'll now call a Self-Summit) I'm going to add in the priorities ahead of the to-dos.

Thanks, Christine, for the inspiration!!

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Overcoming Overwhelm: 5 Practical Secrets to Peaceful Productivity
by Christine Kane

Overwhelm is one of the toughest things my coaching clients face.

No surprise, of course.

The people I work with - whether they're in my Platinum Mastermind, or my Uplevel Your Life Mastery Program, or at one of my women's retreats - tend to have one thing in common:

They're creative types with lots of great ideas and a deep desire to be of service in the world. (If you're reading this, you're probably that kind of person, too.)

Creative types are often challenged by the practical day-to-day stuff of life. To-do's, organization, finances, getting things done. NONE of this comes easy to them! Overwhelm becomes a way of life.

Only problem is this:

Overwhelm leaves you emotionally drained, constantly feeling like you'll never quite catch up.

As a creative person, you might have to accept that you'll be overwhelmed on a regular basis, but you can also take a few practical steps to overcome overwhelm. Here are five secrets I've learned along the way that have helped me get back on purpose in my daily life.

1 - Get out of the weeds

If you've ever waitressed, then you know what it means to be "in the weeds." So much is happening so fast that you can't even pause to regroup.

Many of us live our whole lives like this! We wake up and just start reacting.

If this is you, then it's time to get out of the weeds and into the habit of something I call Self-Summits.

A Self-Summit is a weekly 30-minute practice - Sunday's are perfect! - during which you connect with your intentions, remind yourself of your goals, and get clear on your priorities. You look at the week ahead and:

· List your top three priorities (not your 57 to-do's!) for the week.

· Get clear on upcoming appointments.

· Schedule your work-out time, your writing time, your downtime, etc.

This one practice does wonders for keeping you on track. Even if your week doesn't work out exactly as planned, this is better than not having any plan at all!

2 - Project vs. Task

Is this your to-do list? -->

"Re-paint house. Create website. Write book. Eat healthy."

If so, then it's time to discern between a project and a task. A project is something big...like a website. It looms like a monolith on your to-do list, with its own foreboding theme song that plays every time you glance at it.

A task, on the other hand, is something you can actually complete. Like, "Write bio." Or "Call Photographer."

Learn to break down your projects into tasks during your Self-Summits, and you'll reduce your overwhelm by at least 75%!

3 - Experience Completion

I often make my clients set their weekly goals so small that they laugh at me. I do this because most of the creatives I work with have never allowed themselves the bold luxury of simply experiencing completion.

When you experience completion, then you can maintain your motivation. When you are always running to keep up with your 73-item to-do list, then you are prone to overwhelm and burn out. Make your goals and your to-do list small so that you can revel in getting complete!

Think of completion as an essential vitamin that makes you immune to overwhelm!

4 - Set the Timer

This will sound so simple and stupid that you'll think, "Yea, yea yea. Got it. A timer. Duh."

But hear me out!

Let's say you've scheduled 2 hours to write Chapter 4 of your book. Set the timer for 55 minutes, and write. Don't go one minute over or under. Take a five-minute break. Then set your timer for another 55 minutes.

When the clock is running, you won't be as tempted to go downstairs to put the clothes in the dryer, or see if the mail has arrived. It's an effective mind game that keeps your butt in the chair and your focus on the task. Even my most skeptical clients have become believers in the timer.

5 - Eliminate All-Or-Nothing Thinking

Many creatives see only two options:

Either be fun-loving, chaotic, creative and spontaneous...

OR

Be a totally boring robot who never experiences love or joy.

This is called All-or-Nothing Thinking. It is also a "Limiting Belief." It is downright untrue and even destructive, and it will keep you playing catch-up forever!

The trick to overcoming overwhelm is to play with these new habits. Tweak them so they work for YOU. Many people use all-or-nothing thinking as an excuse for not even trying. They give up on themselves way too quickly.

Don't expect to be perfect when you first start digging out of overwhelm. But DO expect yourself to keep practicing these habits.

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Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at ChristineKane.com/blog

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Tell me, what helps you to shift out of overwhelm?